And with how expressive we have gotten with our sexual desires, I, however, marvel at the statistics of men and women who constantly find themselves in relationships that do not bring them their desired sexual experience.

Statistics according to Mayo Clinic estimates that about one in three men experiences Premature Ejaculation at a certain point. Read here: https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/premature-ejaculation/symptoms-causes/syc-20354900 and we are yet to talk about the number of men who can’t find their woman’s clitoris, talk more of giving her an orgasm.

How many times have you had to rethink a relationship, be it plainly sexual or a full-on romance because of bad sex?

Bad sex in this context being premature ejaculation or not knowing how to fuck you right, refusing to go down on you, and any other way you choose to define it.

Do you think you could sustain a relationship where the sex isn’t great? Or is it a solid ground for a breakup?

On my end, I spoke to 3 women from the ages of 24 with different sexualities who have either dealt with premature ejaculation from their male partners, inability to get erect or have an orgasm with their female partners. They let us know how they handled the experience and if they stayed or may be left.

Gold: Thank you, Tobi, for taking the time to speak to me, my questions are around your sex life and partners. And my first question is, have you been with someone that had premature ejaculation or maybe you had terrible sex with?
Tobi: Yes, someone that couldn’t get his dick up

Editor’s Pick: https://goldgerry.com/2019/09/30/after-sexwhat-next/

Gold: Did you hook up with the person again after that experience?
Tobi: Never did! Honestly, I met him off Twitter in 2018…. we used to talk all the time and sext a lot until we decided to meet at a hotel. We finally met.

Kissed, smooched and his head game was great, but he had a very tiny dick. You know those guys that go on about how they’re going to shift your womb and shit, but he was so flaccid. He kept beating himself up and apologizing because, to be honest, I got irritated. We planned on staying together for some days, so I had to find a silly excuse, and I left the hotel same day.

“…We planned on staying together for some days, so I had to find a silly excuse, and I left the hotel same day”

Gold: Did you ever see him after that?
Tobi: I stopped talking to him since then (she laughs) I couldn’t hide it

********

Gold: Hi Queen, thank you for finding time to talk to me, shall we dive in with you telling me your thoughts on premature ejaculation
Queen: Of course! First, I think it is very normal because every guy I have been with has had it.

Gold: Do you think it is a solid ground for a breakup?
Queen: Not necessarily, except that one time one guy lasted for three seconds and I couldn’t believe it.

Gold: Did you hook up with him after that, or maybe continue seeing him?
Queen: I tried giving him the benefit of doubt, so we tried again after a few days, and I swear he lasted for 10 seconds.

“…I called it waste of sin“

Queen: My current partner used to be this way at the beginning of our relationship, so he started taking some local herbs, and he has improved.

Gold: Would you ever let your man know that you aren’t sexually satisfied with him?
Queen: I never have and I don’t think it’s something I could say

********

Gold: Hi Ruby, so good to have you here. Do you mind sharing with me one of your worst sexual experiences?
Ruby: I don’t know if I have had any, my memory isn’t quite serving me well right now but I have dealt with premature ejaculation.

Gold: Could you tell us if and how it affected your relationship?
Ruby: I felt handicapped because for the first time in my life I had to deal with something like this and it was from the man I loved

Gold: Did you think it ground to break up with him?
Ruby: Of course I did, premature ejaculation is more than enough grounds to call a relationship off.

“Premature Ejaculation is more than enough grounds to call a relationship off“.

Gold: So how did you handle it?
Ruby: We went to see a doctor and got some medications, he’s been getting better ever since.

Gold: Aside from having premature ejaculation, do you think you have a good sexual relationship?
Ruby: I very much believe so, especially because he was never this way when we met.

I agree with the ladies, bad sex is a solid ground for a breakup, however, if you are in a relationship you care about, make sure you have exhausted all your options for a remedy before calling it quits. Premature Ejaculation can be fixed with medications, so please visit a doctor today.

Sex as an act can also be learnt and improved, do not be shy to ask your partner what he/she enjoys or wants, watch videos(lessons and porns) to get ideas on how to work the body.

Lastly, please communicate with your partner(s) on your wants, desires and fantasies. What is the essence of sex if it isn’t to be enjoyed?

“What is the essence of sex if it isn’t to be enjoyed?”

I wish you could see my heart
I wish you could see all the love I feel,
Or maybe it isn’t just love, maybe it is more.
Or even probably less because what I feel,
The word love doesn’t quite cut it anymore for me.

You make my heart skip.
Goosebumps running down my body at the showcase of your kindness.
I have blushed so much in the past 9 months than I have in the past 5 years.
You have brought light into my life.
You opened up my heart at a time I wasn’t searching or even thought I had it in me.
I understand the meaning and depth of love because you are it.
I see myself, all of my flaws and crazy just as they are because of you.
I believe it when you say you love me like you’re the best thing since Jesus gave his life on the cross

You would say…

“I love you with all my heart”

Never have those words been said to me and I believed them, but you?
You, my love, have made the impossible possible.
You know those prayers you say just in case there’s a little chance of it happening? Yes, honey, you are that chance.

I believe in myself because of you
You expand my mind and dreams and make them yours
You listen with your ears and eyes that I feel I may be under scrutiny, but that’s just how you pay attention
Your smile! Ugh your smile is the brightest thing as a day
Your eyes twinkle when I call you Papi.
I never believed I’d meet someone as cheesy and as romantic as I am but here you are beating me in my own game.

Your voice is the lullaby and the pop of my life
I never told you this, but I make sure to listen to every voice note you send telling me how beautiful and perfect you think I am

I love you from the bottom of my heart
I love you for caring
I love you for being yourself and creating a space for me in your life/heart
I love you for loving me
I love you for everything you are and are not

Read more: https://goldgerry.com/2020/01/13/inspired-by-events-with-vic/

You would ask…

“What do you want Babe?” 

And say, “Tell me what it is and I’d work on it”

You want to be better for me
You want to be better for us.
Even when it’s hard, you listen; you try
And that is why I love you.

I love you for believing in us long before I did
I love you for choosing me
I have always wanted a partner to be as ambitious as I am and you are just perfect.
You are one of the brightest and daring men I have ever met and it is so sexy watching you go after your dreams/vision
I love how passionate you get when talking about ideas especially in an industry I know little or nothing about because it makes you hotter by 10 degrees

I try not to think about my future especially with someone else but with you, I see it. I am excited about our journey together.
I am excited about all our plans, trips, surprises, birthdays, anniversaries and plenty of sex because, with you, it is always special.
I want you to know that I cherish you right now and forever, and that would never change.

Te quiero mucho Papi

Every time I talked about the kind of love I crave, I have people around looking at me like ‘girl, this is nuts, ain’t nobody out there gon give that to you’. However, I believe so much in the law of attraction and in the law guiding love, so therefore whatever I think and desire consistently becomes mine. 

I believed so much in this that I had to stop and actually breakdown what I needed in love and relationship and maybe more importantly, what about these couples had me crying God When.

Read more https://goldgerry.com/2020/06/28/my-first-short-story-escape/

Since the day I set out on discovering who I am, I realised that I crave love so much. If you’ve been a consistent reader of my blog, hell if this is your first time, you already get the drill. Love is our theme here. I love LOVE, so I crave it every day, I crave it at work, at my house, on the road, from my friends, in everything I do and most especially from myself.

Loving myself has been hard on some days, especially when I see those ugly sides I have, but I’m here every day working through it.

So if I’m going to be with someone, especially for a healthy relationship?

Here’s a little bit of what I expect and I bet you need it too.

I just want to see the beauty of the world through someone’s eyes.
I want a love that wouldn’t lie.
I want a love that wouldn’t be checking other people out in just 6 months of dating.
I want a love that wouldn’t make me accept the things that I know are wrong because I’m scared of losing it.
I want a love that wouldn’t threaten me or whatever we share.
I want a love that would love me through till eternity.
I want a love that wouldn’t measure if I’m worth being married to, based on whether I can or cannot cook, dress, clean, take on responsibilities, or me being spiritual enough.

Read More https://goldgerry.com/2020/08/06/pussy-talk/

I want a love that wouldn’t laugh at me for not knowing some things.
I want a love that wouldn’t feel that he/she has seen everything in me and then there’s no need to impress me anymore.
I want a love that would make me happy enough to want to get married.
I want a love that wouldn’t be able to go to bed knowing that we are fighting.
I want a love that would be unable to go through his/her day without hearing my voice.
I want a love that’ll challenge and stretch out my mind.
I want a love that would inspire me and forever be my muse.

I want love to touch me places I never even knew I had.
I want a love that would keep me swimming in attention.
I want a love that would grow stronger by the day.

I want a love that we could sit in silence and not feel awkward.

I want to laugh carelessly and crack silly jokes

I want a love that wouldn’t care about friends perspective, parents perspective or anybody else’s but us

I want love to touch me places I never even knew I had.
I want a love that would keep me swimming in attention.
I want a love that would grow stronger by the day.

I need wild love.
I need a love that would make me sing my heart out

I want a love that could never embarrass me or make me regret giving my heart out.

I want smart love.
I want a never money ending love.
I want a love that wouldn’t compare me to anybody.
I want a love with acceptance.
I want love to heal me.
I want a love that is new all day.
I want cheesy love.
I want a love that would be so romantic I wouldn’t even believe it’s me it belongs to.
I need movie love.
I need fairytales.
I don’t pray for a prince, I don’t pray to be saved, I am just asking for love

Don’t come to me talking about marriage and settling down, I don’t want to hear that.

Talk to me about love. Tell me something sweet, tell me something real and true.

Tell me love stories and people’s experiences with it because that’s all I want.

Need to read more on what love is, check this out https://www.helpguide.org/harvard/tips-to-improve-your-sex-life.htm