30 Oct 20/10/20 – It Is Okay To Still Be Sad

I have barely gone to bed without feeling sad or even crying in the past two weeks. I feel terribly let down by the events that have happened in our country, most especially by the Lekki massacre that went on 20/10/20. This post is a clear reminder that it is okay to still be sad while also reminding you of all that we achieved during our two weeks protest.

20/10/20 was arguably the worst nights of my life and although a few days have passed, the memory is stamped on my mind. The cries for help, the open fire, the blood spilling, citizens rattling around to fix gunshot wounds, I see it all and remember it like it was yesterday.

We will never forget the Lekki Toll Gate Massacre by the government of Nigeria on its citizens.

As a result of this grief, I have been unable to write, produce or even think of any content appropriate enough to be released on any of my platforms.
I am simply speechless.

My silence since the incidence has made me question my sanity and mental health. Am I okay? Why do I keep crying? How is it that I am so affected by this? How come I am even more afraid to leave my gate now?

I seat at home and tremble at the slightest sound of discomfort and uncertainty. Locking my doors does not keep my fear at bay. The Nigerian government succeeded in killing the most magnificent movement I was privileged to be a part of.

Walking the streets with strangers, youths and my fellow Nigerians gave me a strength I never knew I had. I screamed, matched, danced, cried and formed friendships on the streets of Lagos. It truly was a moment.

Read More: https://goldgerry.com/2020/10/09/different-ways-you-could-participate-in-the-endsars-movement/

Being a part of that movement taught me things about myself and showed me the qualities I needed to embrace more. And although I am disappointed, hurt and terrified of what may be now for us, I am still hopeful.

Hopeful that we have exactly what it takes to change ourselves, individually and as a collective. I learnt in high school that a family is the smallest unit in a society, and every change we desire starts from that unit.

What is it that we want the most? Or was the movement all about calling for an end to a corrupt police unit? Of course, it wasn’t.

We matched for accountability from the government
We screamed our hearts out because it would be such joy to actually live in a country that makes jobs available to every person- graduate and otherwise.

Our national anthem FEM was sung to because although not everyone can afford to migrate to Canada, we just really want to be able to live without getting raped, harassed or shot and left in the streets. Or worse, a river for bodies.

We danced because, for the first time in a long time, thousands of people across 36 states were saying the same thing. It wasn’t about ethnicity or religion but rather about what is right.

A lot of us are still processing the actions of this cult of a government, and if at all that is you reading this post, I want you to know that it is okay to be sad.

And it is definitely okay to still be lost and in shock, because you were in the moment. I pray that we all heal from this and come out wiser and stronger.

Read details of the Lekki Massacre here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lekki_massacre

Listen to Burna Boy’s 20 10 20 for consolation and never you forget the date.