My 2022 Recap: Producing My First Short Film, Friendship Breakup, Career Ups & Downs and more

I have never questioned my sanity and choices as much as I did in 2022, I went from feeling like the most high to scrapping off the dust from the earth the following week. Every area of my life has been challenged at one point and while I am walking out scarred, I know nothing could get worse. So here is my 2022 recap:

If you ever thought I was dangerous, you should be scared now.

For me, 2022 started with grief. I lost a friend. Not to death, no, but to pride. In case you missed it, I made a post about my feelings in March 2021 – Read here.

Dealing With A Friendship Breakup

Some time ago, I read a post about how losing someone to life was a lot worse than losing them to death and I truly believe that because up until three months ago, I couldn’t talk about this without feeling my heart break. I have wailed and rolled in my tears so much they thickened but who would’ve thought that this unexpected loss and grief would become my rebirth?

I have become fearless, emotionally unavailable, impatient and quite frankly detached from the rest of the people I have in my life. Because if I could lose this one person I imagined we were going to grow old together, what then else is left to experience?

Ironically, this was also the year I took the most chances with forming new connections and friendships however, I struggled with deepening these connections as I soon found out that I have my walls built up.

Shocker!

Having a friendship checklist wasn’t something I was used to or even aware that I subconsciously had, but as I grieved, I began to evaluate every friendship I had left in my circle or should I say the dot I currently have. Everyone has been put under the scrutiny of my magnifying lens and it made me realize that the reason I continue to receive very little of the kind of support and quality of friendship I give out is that I allow it. In the stride of allowing people to be themselves and loving/meeting them where they at, I overextend myself. Which in turn causes me to be empty and be my own friend in some cases.

But, I met a girl.

And just like the other impactful loves in my life, she lives outside the country. Prior to meeting her, I have only experienced a friendship spark/connection so pure and true once, and distance indeed did keep us apart…so you understand my worry.

VM is beautiful, smart, emphatic, kind, ambitious, and driven and she sees and understands me.

Do you know how much I have struggled in friendship circles with being judged the most and frequently by those who are meant to know me the best? Exhausting.

But with VM, I see myself. I hear myself and my feelings are validated. And although, we’ve only known each other for a short while I do believe she is one of the kindest souls I have been privileged to love and come across.

…so I feel restored

I now know the mistakes I made in these failed friendships and I’m working on them, and even more, now know what I expect from someone I call a friend and will no longer be accepting anyone short of.

Producing My First Short Film

This has been the biggest, most draining, impactful and most rewarding experience I have ever embarked on. If there’s anything for me to be proud of this year, it is this.

I am proud of myself.

I wrote and produced a short film titled BOO’D UP, with a budget of $3,000. So far, we have had 4 screenings in three different countries organized by my team and me, with a few international film festival selections.

Watch BOO’D UP teaser

My plan is to write a detailed blog post about my experience shooting my first short film, from planning, budgeting, raising funds and execution, so let us leave some details in the air.

Being in A Long Distance Relationship

I am going to start off this bit by saying that long-distance relationships aren’t for the weak and I strongly advise against it.

The major fuel for my partner and me is communication, and in full transparency, I wouldn’t be doing this with anyone but him. He has been my biggest support system and fan, the most reliable person in the world and I love him dearly.

However, I would be lying if I say that it has been easy loving him from afar.

This year, I met up with my partner three times. In comparison to other years, 2022 is taking it with frequency, but I find that the more time we spend together, the more time I need.

The irony.

I never fully recognised the depth of physical touch in the sustenance of a romantic relationship till now and as much as we try to make up for it through other ways, some days don’t cut it.

Aside from Facetime, here are things my partner and I did more this year to stay connected:
1. Virtual date night: Pick out a restaurant, get dressed and just go.
2. Movie night: Pick out a movie/show together and play at the same time leaving real-time comments on iMessage. This can also be done at the cinema or on Netflix.
3. Concert night: Thanks to Apple Music Share Play, this is quite seamless
4. Masturbate together: I mean we gotta keep our sex lives alive right?

I also fell even more in love with my partner this year and I know that is why I struggle with the distance.

Can you imagine loving someone and not being able to touch them? Dreadful.

Relationship With My Parents

It’s true what they say, the relationship with your parents change/get better when you stop living with them, and for me, that change began in 2017 but there’s definitely something different about 2022.

First off, growing up, I never used to be close with my mom but she has become one of my closest friends. On some of my darkest days this year, I reached out to her to talk because it made me feel better.

She listened

Which used to be something we fought a lot about, with me always rebutting that she acted like a know-it-all and of course, it got under her skin. For the past two years, I intentionally stopped viewing my parents as figureheads but rather as just a random boy and a sweet girl who just had babies and are just figuring life as they went.

This has made me humanize them as opposed to viewing them from a pedestal of authority. I am now able to understand their struggles better and also liken their experiences to mine, which weirdly creates a deeper connection.

I grew up in a house where every person voiced their emotions and opinions about things, at the time, I have to say, I never really thought anything of it. As an adult today, I do see how the teachings and the environment of mutual respect my parents created in our house have influenced me in my relationships today. I am never afraid to speak up about ill-treatment and even good emotions.

My siblings and I are very expressive and a lot closer to each other as a unit in comparison to some families I come across today.

And on my mother’s birthday in November, I mentioned it to her as something to be proud of because I feel like they indeed have raised one of the most beautiful, ambitious, independent and well-connected sisterhoods in the world.

For the first time in my life, both my mom and dad asked me what I did for a living because they wanted to understand it. They didn’t ask in an attempt to downplay my work or end the conversation with a “well if you need a real job, let me know, I have a friend that will help you”. No, they really just wanted to listen and understand what I do.

I am not sure if it is because I have been so strong-headed and held onto my dream of creating for so long that it has worn them down, I don’t even think that I care so much about the why. What matters to me is the respect and understanding I now share with my parents over the work that I do.

And as a first daughter of an Igbo man, this is a win.

My Career, Forming & Maintaining Work Friendships

This year I worked smarter not harder. And as much as that is cool enough to say, it did mean that I did not get to make as much inflow as I did in the past year or two.

Now Gold, why the hell would you do that?

I chose this route because although painful, I am trying to be strategic with my career. I want to be a successful filmmaker and for me, that means making films of quality/value, it means saying no to certain jobs and attaching myself to certain people either because we share similar visions, pay me better, offer better opportunities or plainly even because I like them.

Point is, I don’t want to be ten years into this game and not have any name or project of worth under my belt. Which to be honest, was the major reason I produced my own film. Because I want to be seen and respected by not just my peers but by the executives and producers calling the shots. I want to earn their respect through my labour of love and that of course means putting my money where my mouth is.

As a result, I pushed myself even more.

Intentionally made more filmmaker friends and have positioned myself in their communities just so I can watch, learn and observe how they execute their work. I try to stay connected with those that I admire the most in the industry through a call/text and just put my best work and self forward because I know I am a great writer and producer.

Knowing the level and quality of work that I deliver, I always hope that it is strong enough to get a referral or a callback.

For the first time in a while, I became friends with people from work. The director of my short film Chukwuka Osakwe has become one of my closest friends and I really couldn’t have done or experienced this better without him. Our friendship is a lifetime subscription.

I feel like we are total opposites so that keeps us both on our toes and sharpens our creativity for the better.

My Relationship With God

I remember the moment I became born again. It was in 2011, during my A-Levels and up till today, I feel like I am sustained by the prayers I said back then. My relationship with God is really special, I just go as I am every time and there’s no place else where I feel safer.

This year, our relationship changed, it got deeper and even more meaningful. I prayed more, fasted and even read the bible more times than I have in a few years combined. I don’t think I did enough even as recently I haven’t been to church or even said a serious prayer but of course, I know I am loved.

We learned from an early age that people are backed by certain things, some people find their backing in money, others find it in power and the rest of us, in our gods. And if there’s one thing I’m grateful my parents imbibed in us, it is being Christians and knowing that when all else fails, God will always be there.

As a matter of fact, there have been multiple times when I just broke down in God’s presence because I just couldn’t utter a word. And as much as it was a really tough year, it felt better knowing that I walked with Christ.

And I do think it’s a special kind of privilege.

On a closing note, I am thankful that 2022 is coming to an end. The L’s I took this year alone could easily be spread out into three years, so I am particularly grateful to have survived all of the heartaches at once. It is three days to Christmas and my excitement although coming in late is also beginning to bubble up.

I hope that you also find the strength to smile and look forward to better things in the coming weeks because who sadness epp?

So here is to wish you and your loved ones and very Merry Christmas and thank you for riding with me/reading my blog in 2022. Can’t wait to see you soon.

Thank you once again!

Cheers!!!

GG.

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