01 Sep Serena Williams Retirement: A Personal Impact On My Fears & Desires

The best of all time, Serena Williams is retired and she did so in the most graceful way.

I remember my partner breaking the news to me exactly three days ago, lying on the bed and I just went blank. I am not an avid watcher or even a follower of the sport – tennis but I’m definitely fully aware of the impact Serena Williams has on and off the court.

She is a name I grew up knowing and watching on TV with my family and I am pretty surprised at how I’m feeling about her evolution as she best describes it.

Finally found the courage to read her personal farewell letter in Vogue and as I am sure a lot of people, women specifically, feel sad. I feel sadness because although I am yet to become a mother, it is a feeling I understand.

Reading through Serena Williams’ retirement letter, I am furious and filled with fear of pregnancy and motherhood.

If you know me personally, this wouldn’t be news to you as pregnancy is probably one of the things I fear the most in the world and if I could delay it any further, I sure would.

I hate that women have to make a ton of concessions in life just to be happy or live. It is one thing to deal with sexism and societal preferences against our male counterparts but it is even worse knowing that mother nature hates us too.

I just want to live, work and earn without consistently feeling like a door is closing on me.

Why do women have to retire to sustain their families? Why do we have to endure monthly tortures in the name of menstruation?

It’s like damn you for being pregnant and damn you if you’re not. There are literally no breaks or winning and I find it infuriating.

Don’t get me wrong, I love being a woman but I struggle daily with the acceptance that for me to have a family I have to keep in mind that I would be losing some years in my career pursuit.

It would be a joy to someday start a family but I will be lying if I did tell you that it is something I enthusiastically look forward to, only because I know I will be intentionally setting a part of myself up to be unhappy.

In Serena Williams retirement closing letter, she said:

“You have carried me to so many wins and so many trophies. I’m going to miss that version of me, that girl who played tennis”.

And I know that is exactly how I’m going to feel when I am finally ready.

It will be great if my feelings are changed or maybe proven wrong at some point but this is just where I’m at.

Continue reading… our last post