09 Jun Women Are Not Safe At Work

I had a conversation with my partner about this yesterday but I think it’s only right to tell you guys about it too. This is a situation I have had to deal with even before I knew I was a girl/woman and as I get older, it makes me even angrier and sad.

I am talking about sexual harassment and the sexualisation of women in the workplace. Saw a tweet a few days ago by a woman who said that her butt was groped at the market and she didn’t have any feelings as she should towards it and she thinks that she has become desensitised from sexual harassment. This is sad and really quite true/relatable to a lot of women, especially those living in Nigeria.

Read More: This Is How I Really Feel- https://goldgerry.com/2021/03/30/this-is-how-i-really-feel/

Before I go to the market or any public space in Nigeria, I have to ensure that my clothes are baggy enough, I am never on a skirt, never on tight jeans or leggings, no crop tops, no light material tops and it is really exhausting to have to worry about these things. Like how easy do men have it? Just dress up and show up, no worry about getting catcalled or abusive names as you walk down the street.

I find it exhausting because I do not go to the market with the intent or awareness to grope a man so why is that done to me on a daily basis? Why do I have to shelter myself from being free and comfortable in what I wear because of another person?

For almost a week, I have been on a film set and if you know the entertainment industry, you would agree that it is a male-dominated space, so I wasn’t even surprised to see the ratio of men to women at 8:2. However, it irritates me to handle sleek advances or comments about my looks.

People speak a lot about pretty privilege but fail to acknowledge that the privilege we often speak of is usually the downfall or stagnation of certain women in their industries because their achievements and works are ascribed to being pretty. For a woman like myself who owns her sexuality and feminine energy, you are looked at as unserious so you become heavily concerned about what you wear, what you say and how your body moves.

I noticed that a lot of the women that succeed in my industry are usually tomboys or dress down their femininity in order to be accepted or reduce sexual advances at work. Is this right? No. But is it becoming prevalent? Well, of course.

How do we expect women to break the glass ceiling or focus on work when there are so many obstacles in our way. We are steadily fighting patriarchy in our homes, struggle to balance work and raising a family and then there goes a male colleague of mine calling me “fine girl” instead of using my name because all he sees are my physical attributes.

I’m in need of a break.

Read: 5 Ways To Ensure Women’s Safety At Work- https://blog.vantagecircle.com/womens-safety-workplace/

What I’ve learnt in this whole experience is there are some people who look down on you cause you’re young and holding an important role, so they do not want to take instructions from you and then there are others that think that cause I’m a ‘fine girl, that I’m incapable or focused on my beauty. Someone told me yesterday that he thinks I’m disciplined cause I do my hair every day and I was like it’s just the same as showering and you brushing your hair or cleaning your shoes. It’s all part of getting dressed up or ready for work, so why is mine looked at as an extra activity?

Oh that’s right, it’s because I’m a woman.

And being a woman who accepts that side of herself is seen as frivolous/vanity, meanwhile, these are all sellable characteristics the media continues to portray as “being a real woman”.

I remember how quickly the term slay queen got demonised because women used it to empower themselves. And now the terms bitch and queen are being reclaimed and you see how much it eats into a lot of guys because they so badly want to take something that belongs to us.

This is why many ladies in male-dominated industries have more masculine energy or dress down to not be sexualized or looked upon like they’re doing too much. But I want to do too much, that is who I am and I am always going to embrace my feminine side.

It’s like why do women have to shrink themselves or be what you tell/expect them to be? It’s belittling, condescending and quite frankly an insult to me as a person and the work that I do. I really just want to work and not be sexualised. I want to walk freely and not have gory eyes looking at me like a meal. I want to be seen and respected equally, and not have to worry about if I’m friendly or polite enough.

I just want to live and work in peace as a woman.