04 Apr How to be Single 101 Episode 2-Love it and Be Happy

Hi guys welcome back to yet another episode of -How to be single. If you missed the first episode,not to worry here’s the link

How to be SINGLE 101(Blog Series) Episode 1-No Misleading. In today’s episode,I want to talk to you guys about how to be single,how to love it and be happy.

So severally I hear a lot of people beat down on their relationship status. If one is in a relationship,he/she says they’re bored and needs some time apart from their partner,while the one’s on the other side of the road;the single one’s say that uhm I just want someone to love me,someone to hold me…bla blah blahh. Thing is no matter what we have in life,we would always ask and seek for more. We can never be fully satisfied.Today’s post isn’t talking about getting your satisfaction up but living happy and loving your single status. Just to get it out there,when someone says she’s single it doesn’t mean she’s a whore or when a guy says he’s single,it doesn’t mean his a flirt. Being single doesn’t even mean that someone dumped though,it doesn’t mean that i’m sad and sulk by by bed side every night. It just doesn’t mean that someone is lonely period(that ideology pisses me off). I see being single as liberating,and quite an extreme learning/changing period of one’s life. Being single allows you the chance to be yourself,live your life and do all that which you want.

Now,I am not saying that all of these couldn’t or wouldn’t be achieved when in a relationship but the hard truth is it could take either one of these roads.

1. Either he/she(your partner) helps in the pursuit of your dreams
2. Either he/she isn’t in support of your dreams
3. Or you focus so much on every other thing in the relationship that you forget yourself

Either way,its quite a slow process,with someone on the other side because if he’s supporting you,you also have to create time to support him too. If you’re single like me though(haha) you really do not have much to worry about. You chase,walk and live all of those dreams as you want to.

First of all being happy cannot and should never be attached to a thing,person,place or whatever. Being single and happy should be in yourself,should be found within one’s self. Take the time to feel and I mean feel everything. Feel your anger,pain,happiness,resentment,feel movies,music,meet people,get some clothes,wear the old ones you’ve never worn before. Travel to cities you wanted to before or maybe those you stopped going to. So being Single,loving it and being happy requires you to take the time to know yourself,which is highly important.

Its absolutely okay to feel like you need someone to hold you on some nights. It is still okay if you need someone to talk to about your emotions and day after a long one,who doesn’t? We all need someone. However if you’re single you should find consolation in the fact that some who are in relationships still don’t feel the need to share those things with their partner,so what really is that? Find consolation in the fact that you’ll be gaining more in knowing every part of yourself first before you come to the conclusion that you really need someone else. I really do believe that a lot of people do not even know what being in a relationship is all about,which is why they fail at different levels and people get so devastated. 

There are so many outings right now in Lagos and am certain around the world that one could go to alone,go out and network,meet beautiful people/minds. Nobody says being single kicks you out of the world and you cant keep saying that a particular city is boring when you haven’t even taken the time out to see/know what that city is about. Randomly walk into a restaurant and have lunch,walk into a different one the next day. I did this last year while I was serving,I visited a lot of restaurants which is one thing I noticed; Calabar has plenty of. I didn’t do this alone though,I had someone with me which made it even exciting. We just visited different restaurants,ate different dishes,took pictures and talked about what we loved most about these restaurants,their flaws,customer service,aura,etc. Getting yourself busy in the things that you love,finding a new exciting hobby just takes you out of the damp feeling of missing or needing anybody.

Once you know who you are,nobody can stop you.